Passionate About Inspiring Others
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to teach and help others, but I had no idea the journey I would need to take before that would unfold.
As a young girl, I was incredibly feisty - bursting with silliness, curiosity, and playfulness and a little more than I think my mother knew what to do with. My mother was "old school" and she used harsh discipline to try and tame my feistiness. While I understand that that was often how young people were disciplined in the past, the pain that my mother’s disapproval of my authentic self caused me was and has been immense. Looking back, I think my mother misunderstood me and perhaps never had the energy to try due to her health issues. So, through my formative years my fun-loving and silly nature was not embraced; instead, it was a characteristic to be stifled and controlled. I was, directly and indirectly, told that my authentic self was not good enough and something to be ashamed of. I grew up in a home where it mattered what others thought, and I didn't fit the profile of the mild-mannered, passive, and quiet girl that would help portray the rigid, conservative family image my parents expected.
Over time, insecurity and not feeling enough began to seep into my being. This feeling and belief of not "being good enough" or "smart enough" later attracted an unhealthy marriage into my life, which led to a painful sense of loneliness and profound disconnection from myself. I had lost my authentic self. After the marriage ended, my mother passed away. This loss had a deep emotional impact on me because even though my heart knew she loved me deeply, my mind had always told me differently and I had always felt rejected within that relationship. I could not come to terms with her death. I just wanted to know I was loved, but I felt I would never truly feel my mother’s love because she was gone. I was torn with regret and guilt for not seeking these answers from her while she was still alive.
As years went on, my belief system of not feeling loved, loveable, or good enough became evident as I continued attracting loveless relationships into my life or pushing away anyone who did show love toward me. I continued to feel disconnected from myself, alone and lost. For many years, I felt trapped in insurmountable pain, perpetuated and reinforced by my self-deprecating thoughts and beliefs. My health suffered, I was stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious. I wanted change and connection with my whole heart, but my self-worth had been so diminished that I couldn’t find my way out of the cage I had built around myself.
Several years later, I had a chance encounter with a spiritual person who pushed me to look deeper within myself, become aware of my own power, take responsibility for my own life, and be accountable for my thoughts and feelings. It was as if this person saw me in my cage and had the wisdom that I could not see from within the confines of my inner world – they saw that it was me who needed to set myself free. And that I had the power within me to do this all along. It was as if a curtain was pulled back, behind it stood my authentic self, just waiting to come back to the world.
I felt this encounter was an invitation and a sign that it was time to regain power and joy in my life and to reconnect with that young, silly, girl that had been silenced and shut down so many years ago. This new self-awareness and empowerment opened me to opportunities and blessings I had craved all my life. I deepened my connection with spirit, connecting with loved ones, and learning about healing energy medicine – I ventured on a path of self-love that allowed me to explore and let my inner essence shine. I felt that the bars of my cage dissolved around me, vanishing. In its place, a loving, safe, and warm home was built.
While I had found what made me come alive and feel happy, I struggled to identify what this meant for me professionally. I realized that I needed my work-life to be congruent with my authentic self, and so I ventured on yet another new path of discovering how to align my inner and outer worlds. The pain of my past and the memory of my cage was distant but close enough to remind me of the importance of continuing to intentionally practice self-love. Remembering my experience and the journey it took to reconnect with my authentic self made me curious about who else may be suffering in the way that I was. The thought of others being trapped in their negative thoughts, beliefs, and patterns sparked empathy and compassion – and a realization that I may be for others what that spiritual person I encountered so many years ago had been for me. And so, I discovered that I could align my inner and outer worlds by sharing my gifts and wisdom and inviting others to regain their power and create a life filled with joy and self-love. I now see my work as yet another blessing and find meaning and purpose in working with others to reconnect with themselves, discover their strengths and passions, cultivate their sense of empowerment, and surround themselves with love.